• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
• Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
• Doctor 2 husband: Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group same hai.
Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal to mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!
• Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
• Husband: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me."
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
• The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"
• After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
• Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?
A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.
• Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
• Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.
Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se me ra khoon jo pi rahi hai.
• Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
• Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.
Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
• Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
• Doctor 2 husband: Tuhadi biwi te tuhada blood group same hai.
Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal to mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!
• Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
• Husband: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me."
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
• The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"
• After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
• Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?
A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.
• Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
• Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.
Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se me ra khoon jo pi rahi hai.
• Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
• Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.
Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI.
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