Pussy vs. Beer

A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
-- Advantage: Beer

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
-- Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
-- Advantage: Draw

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
-- Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
-- Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
-- Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
-- Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
-- Advantage: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
-- Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
-- Advantage: Beer

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
-- Advantage: Pussy

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
-- Advantage: Beer

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran.
-- Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle. Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
-- Advantage: Pussy

The government taxes beer.
-- Advantage: Pussy

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.