Hilarious observations



I changed my car horn to sounds of gunshot. People move out of the way much faster now!
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I decided to rename the bathroom to gym.  I feel so much better saying I went to the gym this morning.
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I don't have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my spouse took it!
 ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Of course I talk to myself.. as sometimes I need expert advice..
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Comments